The No Social Media Challenge

“Time is what we want the most, but what we use the worst.”

~ William Penn

What is the No Social Media Challenge?

Well, just as it sounds, you cut out all forms of social media, including Netflix and TV. Yes, you are ditching the scroll. All forms of it.

This may sound crazy but hear me out. I once thought it was too…

And that’s exactly why I needed to do it.

I was telling myself these things, “I don’t use social media much. I mean its here and there throughout the day but it’s not as bad as other people.”

“TV isn’t really my thing anyways. I just have a few shows I like. It’s just a few shows a week and time with the hubs watching TV doesn’t count. That’s not really my TV. I only sometimes stay up late to watch, because I’m so exhausted and just need to chill.”

“I could live without it so I don’t actually need to. I’m ok!” “I don’t get why some people don’t even have Facebook! How do you stay in touch with people or arrange things? How do you know what’s even going on?!”

Why To Do The No Social Media Challenge

I decided about 3 days before the end of July that I needed to cut out social media. Not just for a day or two, but a whole month.

Cold turkey.

I had gone cold turkey on TV years before and found so much more time in my life. I felt like social media had become so negative and social policing. Really pitting people against one another with declarations being made. The algorithms hard at work.

Yes, there are good people and positive groups but the mindless scroll and story watching was becoming a space I felt pulled to yet repulsed by.

Where Was I Before This Challenge?

Where are you right now?

Feeling lost. Chaotic, like I could never truly grip onto life. Feeling like if only I could get some down time then I could maybe catch up and things would be better.

I didn’t feel my social media use was that much, and I had changed my settings so I was seeing the most positive feed I could.

Feeling down, angry, resentful, depressed, discouraged. My marriage was on the rocks, headed towards separation.

My eldest was having outbursts like he’d never done before. I felt so alone and overwhelmed, but like I needed to prove all was spectacular and I’m an amazing human being with a great life.

Feeling like I had more to give, but what? How? Feeling not present and able to appreciate each moment with my kids. Always feeling rushed.

Having all these dreams and goals but how can I achieve them when there’s never any time? And am I good enough? Imposter syndrome raged. My life feels nothing like all my friends who are succeeding.

Women are more likely to be hampered by imposter syndrome than men.

So I texted my best friend and asked if she was in.

RELATED: How to Gain 2+ Hours to Your Day (Without Losing Sleep!)

The No Social Media Challenge

The heavy hitters were out. No Facebook, no Instagram (those were the apps we used). We could use FB messenger for messaging as there’s a separate app. Pinterest could be used for recipes but the scroll was a hard no.

Once we settled into a routine, at Week 3 we decided to do another challenge to move the needle on our goals and keep us focused during the home stretch.

It was 2-week challenge that would extend a week past the No Social Media month, and be focused on something we both desire to do, but avoid doing.

The Results Are In

I gained 6 hours back in my day, each day.

Yes, I had no idea I used my phone that much! I already didn’t watch TV outside of Outlander and Grey’s, and I felt I used my phone just here or there.

Nope, 6 hours.

It wasn’t just the new time found to do so many more important things.

Within a day there was a noticeable change. I had more energy and I was responding immediately to my kids, with a better attitude.

At Day 3 days my friend and I were both extremely exhausted. We tended to be in sych with slumps when they occurred over the month so we hypothesized it was detox related.

Life through chaos our way whenever it could, to test our will. It was interesting to note when the idea of scrolling social media would come up in our thoughts and habits.

It was shocking how quickly we noticed benefits. By the end of Day 4 we were both ready to kick social media to the curb for good and that idea only grew stronger over the course of the month.

We each noticed we had a better mood, were more creative, had more will power, self-confidence, attentiveness, focus, less irritable, and had more patience.

Overall we each had way more time, we felt present with our kids and partners, and our values had shifted.

Setting goals had become lot easier because of the gained clarity on life. And from that, we were able to better communicate in our relationships!

The Other Shocking Piece

Other people’s screen use became frightfully obvious. Both of our spouses were not in the challenge with.

It was interesting for both of us to see how our lives essentially used to be, through our husbands’ use of the scroll and TV. It was eye-opening how out-of-reach they were for the kids, when the screens were on for those “check out” moments.

And they both felt the same way we did at that start – don’t use it much so it’s no big deal.

I think most surprising about ourselves is we didn’t feel the need to “check out” anymore.

Something we both used to desire to do – needing a break from the kids and wanting to “check out” by checking into social media.

I rarely carried my phone with me! Sure, I missed out on some cute pictures but I was there for the memories. I was living in the moment, not anticipating the likes and comments if I got a cute photo and could come up with a cute post.

Honestly, I originally wanted to do the challenge to try and find more time in my day, without sacrificing my sleep. It’s only in retrospect did I realize how much social media had impacted my emotions and my thoughts, and thus my actions.

Going Forward

It was surprisingly easy to stick to. I was quite surprised by that. Once the active decision was made to not use it and the apps deleted, it was easy to let go and live my life for me and my family.

My priorities have re-adjusted to something more valuable; in-person connection with those I cherish most, including myself.

And the time! The little snippets of time I’ve gained throughout my day where I can get another load of laundry done, the kitchen cleaned up, exercises done, a room cleaned, letters written, an extra book read with my kid and so many other things I used to feel there wasn’t enough time for. It used to make me feel so chaotic and unsuccessful.

Having an accountability partner was huge! Having a secondary goal also helped give more focus to the additional time gained, and gave a personal outlet. Moving the needle on our goals.

Why It’s Worth It

Today, the last day of the social media challenge and I woke up to find out a friend had passed away. A friend who struggled with strong emotions but you wouldn’t always know it as she had such a generous heart and an infectious laugh. She was always one for a gag joke and a good time.

The message from her best friend sharing the news was that she was most happy when using her oils and spending time with our oily community. Until the gatherings stopped and everything went online.

Community.

Social media has replaced in person connections. We can easily look up what someone’s been up to on social media. Rather than reaching out for a phone call, or a get together.

Social media shows the highlight reel – you see the good stuff. You don’t see the bad days, the struggles, the shit that someone may be battling.

Not everyone is ok.

Community. That’s what’s important. Relationships. Family, friends, human contact! Not a 15 second highlight reel.

Shine your own light.

Don’t let what you think someone might say stop you from doing you.

If anything they’ll have the thought for a split second and scroll right passed.

It’s a perceived thought in your head. Don’t let your own negativity and self-doubt get in the way of your own happiness.

Do your own thing, be your own person. You are an expert because you’ve DONE something.

Creating Connection Over Disconnect

Going forward social media is a tool. I will not let it own me.

Going forward I will have monthly gatherings with my friends. A standing invitation to anyone who can make it. In person connection. To talk, to laugh, to feel and to be supported. A dinner club, book club, group play date, self-spa time, whatever it may be, I’m taking my relationships back offline.

For those of my friends whom I only know online, or who live further away, monthly zoom calls, or letters and packages.

In summary, grab your bestie and dive right in. Delete your social media apps. If you’re living your life through others or comparing to others, even subtly, stop. Bring those relationships offline. Reconnect outside of the app. Follow up with your friends. They’re not always ok.

Start moving the needle on your goals. Use the time you gain to do that.

And most importantly, time is precious. It’s the one thing we all want more of, but once it’s gone, its gone. Don’t let an app steal your life or your relationships.

Update

It’s now been five months since I started this challenge and I have not gone back.

I’ve downloaded Facebook and Instagram a few times to get a link or resource and each time been lost to the scroll and my mood and body immediately becomes tense and anxious.

It’s been so much easier to see now that its removed. Similar to after cutting out processed foods and having some favourites again and you realize just how awful they taste and make you feel. Or stopping using fragrance products and you start smelling them so strongly on others.

I realized too that I still had given myself an excuse. I kept FB messenger so friends could contact me.

Guess what? They never did. Only 3 people reached out after 3-4 months of me being off of social media.

The people who wanted to touch base with me, texted throughout the whole time and that was 4 people.

But I spent time daily checking messenger. It drew me in to the point where I actually had to delete it too and DAMN was that ever freeing!

I realized that so many people, although they may care about you, use social media to do a “scroll by” check-in. Same as you do.

And no one is doing anyone any favors not posting about the ugly parts of life.

My life was better spent living it and improving upon it than doing a “scroll by” of what other people are doing “perfectly.”

What I Did During This Time

It’s actually kind of amazing how much I managed to get done in those little bits of time you have with young kids. The time I used to spend “checking out”.

So what did I fill my days with and what can you fill yours with?

I finally sat down and made a meal plan. Seriously. Its rocking my life. It’s hard work, I’m not going to lie, but it takes that brain fatigue over meals, away!

My husband and I (he’s the cleaner but I’m taking over) made a cleaning list for each room which I printed out and put in a booklet. Now I have a set system to follow which again, makes the task something I don’t have to think about.

We organized so many rooms in our house including making a root cellar.

And I set to working every day on this blog. Something for me.

Of course there were other little things like doing a 3 minute stretching routine every morning and night, making washing my face each day a habit, and making my kids feel seen and heard each day.

Basically I spent the tidbits (and it really was 5 minutes here or there) putting together systems to make my life flow better and take the mental strain of figuring things out each day. So worth it!!

Is This The End of Social Media?

I’ve debated going back to using them but after the few post-challenge experiences I’ve had, it’s becoming more and more a hard never. And I never would have thought I would say that!

But life is so much better, less stressful and moody. It’s easier! I have more time, I’ve made big progress on things that matter to me, and things I kept putting off because I could never find the time to make them happen.

My life feels more my own and I’m living it for me. Our goals towards self-reliance are moving forward leaps and bounds because I finally have time to learn the skills I kept putting off!

My recommendation to you: Stop the scroll and take back your life!

Do the challenge to undo your social media habits and make them work for you!